SteepedResume.
Issue 01 · Volume I · The Resume Edition
resume.steeped.digital

For people who spent 45 minutes prompting ChatGPT and still got slop

The only AI resume tool
that doesn’t sound like
AI wrote it.

Paste your resume. Get told what’s wrong with it. Get it rewritten – by AI with explicit rules against spearheaded, leveraged, cutting-edge, and the other 47 words that scream “a robot wrote this.”

No signup. No account. No email.
Your data is never stored.
3 free roasts. 30 seconds each.
▸ OPTION 01

I want to know

What's wrong with my resume?

Brutally honest AI feedback in 30 seconds. The kind your friends are too polite to give you.

Start your free roast →FREE
▸ OPTION 02

I'm ready to

Get my resume rewritten.

A full rewrite – tailored to one specific job if you want – that mirrors the company's language.

Rewrite my resume →$5 · THE KIT
✺75% of resumes filtered before a human reads them✺0 accounts required✺3 free roasts, 30 seconds each✺2 versions, you pick✺47 banned AI words and counting✺$5 per application, six outputs✺Tailored to the exact job description✺75% of resumes filtered before a human reads them✺0 accounts required✺3 free roasts, 30 seconds each✺2 versions, you pick✺47 banned AI words and counting✺$5 per application, six outputs✺Tailored to the exact job description✺75% of resumes filtered before a human reads them✺0 accounts required✺3 free roasts, 30 seconds each✺2 versions, you pick✺47 banned AI words and counting✺$5 per application, six outputs✺Tailored to the exact job description
§ The Math

Why five dollars
beats free.

Any LLM will attempt this for free and give you generic slop. Pay for a better model and you can get there, but resume writing isn’t one task, it’s six, and no chatbot handles all of them unless you’ve spent hours perfecting your prompts. We already did that part.

Time to a usable resume
~45 minutesof prompting, re-prompting, and "shorter, more punchy"
90 secondspaste resume, paste job, click once
Anti-slop word list
Noneuses "leveraged" three times in one bullet by default
47 banned wordsenforced at the prompt level, updated weekly
ATS parser
Doesn’t have onecan’t see your resume the way the bots will
Built-inwe parse your PDF the way Workday & Greenhouse do
Match score against the job
"Looks good!"no number, no gaps, no proof
0–100 scorewith the exact missing keywords and where to add them
Versions offered
1"is this good enough?"
2, in different voices"which one is more you?"
Random "As an AI…" leaks
Oftenin the middle of your work history
Neverstripped at the output layer
Cost
Freebut it costs you the next hour of your life
$5 once or $29/mo3 free roasts, $5 per Kit, or $29/mo for 10 Kits. No contracts.

90 sec · $5 · two versions, ATS-scored, job done.

We’re not anti-ChatGPT. We just don’t think your career should be the part you outsource to a chatbot you have to babysit.

§ The Anti-Slop Manifesto

Forty-seven words
we will never
put on your resume.

Hiring managers can smell an AI-written resume from the parking lot. Every tool we ship has these patterns explicitly banned at the prompt level. The result reads like a human wrote it – because that’s the only thing it’s allowed to do.

BANNED-LIST v3 · MAINTAINED WEEKLY
spearheadedleveragedsynergycutting-edgepassionate aboutstreamlinedrobustinnovativedynamicpivotalresults-drivengo-getterteam playerrockstarninjawheelhousemoving forwardlow-hanging fruitcircle backbest-in-classthought leadervalue addsynergizeworld-classnext-generationgame-changerdisruptivebest-of-breedmission-criticalscalable solutionsstrategic initiativesdrive resultsdeliver valuestakeholderecosystemparadigm shiftcore competencyblue-sky thinkingwin-winbandwidthdeep diveboil the oceantouch basemove the needleground-upstand-upactionedoperationalizespearheadingtasked with
+ and dozens of “–”-laden, hyphen-stacked, em-dashed sentence patterns the model loves to over-use.
§ 01 – The Roast

Try it. Right here.
No signup, no email, no nothing.

Below is a real resume from a real product manager (anonymized). Click Roast it to see exactly the kind of feedback you’ll get. Then paste yours.

resume.pdf
597 chars · sample resume
ROAST.OUTPUT
READY

Click Roast it to see the output.

§ Proof 01 · Three Readers

Three readers.
Three roasts.
Same resume.

Your resume isn’t read once. It’s read three times, by three readers, looking for three different things. Our roast simulates all three, because optimizing for one will get you cut by the other two.

↓ ALL THREE READERS LOOK AT THE SAME FILE

jsmith-pm-resume-final-v7-FINAL.pdf

3 PAGES · 1,247 WORDS · 16 BANNED PHRASES DETECTED
👤

The Recruiter

Spends 7.4 seconds on your resume.

WHAT THEY CARE ABOUT

Whether it’s worth pulling into the pile.

First impression: skipped.

"Results-driven product manager with 8+ years of experience leveraging cross-functional collaboration to spearhead innovative solutions…"

I read three words and my brain auto-completed the rest. Your summary is a Mad Libs of buzzwords. I have no idea what you actually do.

Your title says "Senior PM." Your first bullet says "Managed cross-functional teams to deliver products." That’s the literal job description. Tell me what shipped.

VERDICTSkip · onto the next file
✦

The Hiring Manager

Will work with this person if they’re hired.

WHAT THEY CARE ABOUT

Can you actually do the job we need done.

Where are the numbers?

"Spearheaded various strategic initiatives. Leveraged data to drive decision-making. Passionate about user experience."

I have a P&L to defend. "Various strategic initiatives" is a phrase you use when you can’t name a single one. Which initiatives? Whose P&L did they move? How much?

"Leveraged data." For what decision? Did it work? You’re asking me to take a $200k bet on a resume that won’t even commit to a verb.

VERDICTPass · ask the recruiter for someone with metrics
⚙

The ATS Bot

Decides if a human ever sees this.

WHAT THEY CARE ABOUT

Keyword match score against the job posting.

0.47 match. Filtered.

MATCH_SCORE: 0.47 · MIN_THRESHOLD: 0.65 · STATUS: FILTERED

JD requires: payments_infrastructure, treasury, banking_as_a_service, p99_latency, api_design, enterprise_pricing. Detected: communication, leadership, microsoft_office.

Skills section parsed as: ["Microsoft Office"]. This is not a skill in 2026. This is a confession. Recommended action: queue for /dev/null.

VERDICTFILTERED · /dev/null

“What ChatGPT will never tell you: the same bullet that passes the ATS reads like a corpse to the hiring manager. The roast tells you both.”

Run the roast →
§ Proof 02 · The Parser

What an ATS
actually sees.

On the left is the resume you sent. On the right is what Workday, Greenhouse, and Lever actually parsed and indexed. They’re not the same document. Ours is the only resume tool that shows you both, and rewrites for the one on the right.

jsmith-resume.pdf · what you see1 of 2

JOHN SMITH

Senior Product Manager · john.smith@email.com · 555-0123 · linkedin.com/in/jsmith

SKILLS

  • API Design
  • Payments Infra
  • Treasury Products
  • Team Leadership
  • Microsoft Office

EDUCATION

B.S. Computer Science
Stanford · 2017

EXPERIENCE

Senior Product Manager — Acme Corp

2021 — Present

  • Shipped Treasury (BaaS) product to GA in 9 months; $40M ARR Y1
  • Re-architected payments API surface across 6 teams
  • Reduced p99 latency by 38%; saved $1.2M/yr in infra
  • Hired and ran a team of 14 engineers + 3 PMs

Product Manager — Stripe

2017 — 2021

  • Led pricing strategy for top 5 enterprise accounts
  • Owned API design RFC process
$ workday-parse jsmith-resume.pdfparsed_v2.json
# parsed by Workday ATS · v8.2.1
name: “JOHN” (! lost “SMITH” — col-break)
title: null (! mis-parsed header)
email: “john.smith@email.com”
skills: [“Microsoft Office”, “API Design”, “Team Leadership”]
# ↵ “payments_infra” — NOT MATCHED in body
# ↵ “treasury” — NOT MATCHED in body
experience[0]:
company: “Acme Corp”
bullets: [
“Shipped Treasury (BaaS) product to GA in 9 mo”,
# “banking-as-a-service” never appears verbatim — JD requires
“Re-architected payments API…”
]
match_score: 0.34 · BELOW THRESHOLD
missing_keywords: [“banking-as-a-service”, “P&L”, “enterprise pricing”, “p99”, “BaaS”, “Greenhouse”]
action: queue_for_filter
WHAT WE FOUNDMissing keywords (\u00d76)Lost formatting (\u00d73)Mis-parsed fields (\u00d72)Net effect: 34/100 match score on a job you’re qualified for.
§ Proof 03 · Three Rewrites

One bullet.
Three right answers.

ChatGPT gives you one version and asks if you like it. We give you three, each optimized for a different reader, and tell you when to use which. That’s the difference between an autocomplete and a tool.

BEFORE · THE ORIGINAL · WHAT EVERY MID-LEVEL PM RESUME SAYS4 BANNED WORDS · 0 NUMBERS · 1 SHRUG

Spearheaded cross-functional initiatives to leverage data and deliver innovative solutions, passionate about driving impact.

Way 01 · Metric-ledfor the hiring manager

$40M ARR in Y1. Shipped Treasury (BaaS) from RFC to GA in 9 months across 6 engineering teams, 14 hires.

WHY THIS VERSION

Front-loads the number. Best for senior roles where the reader wants proof of impact in the first three words.

Way 02 · Story-ledfor the recruiter

Took Stripe Treasury from a one-paragraph RFC to a banking-as-a-service product with $40M ARR, in nine months, across six teams, with three offices and no attrition.

WHY THIS VERSION

Reads like a sentence, not a stat dump. Best when the recruiter scans and you need them to stop, not scroll.

Way 03 · Keyword-densefor the ATS

Led product strategy for banking-as-a-service offering; owned API design, payments infrastructure, and enterprise pricing across 6 teams. $40M ARR Y1; p99 latency −38%; $1.2M/yr infra savings.

WHY THIS VERSION

Mirrors the exact phrasing from the job description. Best when you’ve already cleared a hiring bar and just need to clear the parser.

The Rewrite tool returns two of these by default, and lets you regenerate the third with one click. See it in action →

§ The Bot Wall

0%
of resumes get
filtered before a
human reads them.

ATS – Applicant Tracking Systems – rank you on keyword match before any recruiter sees the file. Miss the words, you’re invisible. Our ATS Check tells you exactly which keywords to add and where.

Run the ATS check · included in the Kit
§ The Diagnosis

Why your resume
isn’t working.

REASON 01
47
BANNED PHRASES

It reads like everyone else’s

"Managed cross-functional teams" tells a recruiter nothing.

Vague duties are the #1 reason resumes get skipped. We turn every bullet into a specific outcome with a number: who, what, how much, by when.

REASON 02
30s
HONEST ROAST

Your friends are too polite

Everyone says "looks good!" and moves on.

You need someone who’ll tell you that listing Microsoft Office as a skill in 2026 is actively hurting your application. We will.

REASON 03
90%
OF F500 USE ATS

Bots get the first read

Miss the keywords, miss the role.

90% of large companies rank resumes by keyword match before a human ever sees them. If you don’t speak their language, you don’t make the pile.

§ The Toolkit

Five tools.
One obvious workflow.

Roast tells you what’s broken. Build, Rewrite, and Cover Letter fix it. ATS Check makes sure the robots agree. Use them in order – or just the one you need.

🔥
Roast
The brutally honest first read.
3 FREE🏗️
Build from Scratch
No resume yet? Done in ten minutes.
FREE✍️
Rewrite
Full rewrite, tailored to the job.
IN THE KIT📝
Cover Letter
Cover letter that doesn't read like one.
IN THE KIT🎯
ATS Keyword Check
Find the keywords the bots want.
IN THE KIT
§ The Two-Option Rule

We never give you
one answer. Ever.

Other AI tools hand you a single output and ask “is this good enough?” We hand you two, written in different voices, and ask “which one is more you?” The answer is always better.

JOB DESCRIPTION INPUT

Senior Product Manager · Stripe · Payments Infrastructure

✓ ANALYZED · 312 KEYWORDS

↑ Pick one. (Same person, same job. Different voice.)

§ The Pipeline

From “oh god”
to “sent” in 12 minutes.

Other tools dump a hundred features on you and call it a platform. We sequence four jobs in the order you actually need them.

01

Roast

3 free. See what’s broken.

02

Rewrite

Fix it. Tailored to a job.

03

Cover Letter

Match the tone. Under 350 words.

04

ATS Check

Beat the bots before you apply.

One resume, one job, six outputs, for $5.

Or $29/month for 10 Kits. That's $50 worth for $29.

See pricing →
§ For your stage

What you need depends on
where you are.

If you’re a mid-career…

You've done a lot. Your resume doesn't say what.

The move: Run Rewrite against the next role you want – we’ll surface the metrics, kill the vague bullets, and mirror their language.

Your toolkit, in order
1Roast→2Rewrite→3ATS Check
§ The Diff

Same person.
Same job.
Different result.

On the left: a real bullet from a real product manager’s resume. On the right: what our Rewrite tool returned for the same person, run against a real Stripe job description.

Slide ↔ to compare. Nothing was invented – only re-framed.

ATS MATCH SCORE+47 POINTS
34/100→81/100

Senior Product Manager – Acme Corp

2021 – Present

•Managed cross-functional teams to deliver products.
•Spearheaded various strategic initiatives.
•Leveraged data to drive decision-making.
•Passionate about user experience and success.
•Collaborated with engineering, design, and marketing.

Senior Product Manager – Acme Corp

2021 – Present

•Shipped Acme Treasury (banking-as-a-service) to GA in 9 months; $40M ARR Y1.
•Re-architected payments API across 6 teams; cut p99 38%.
•Saved $1.2M/yr after consolidating three infra pipelines.
•Hired & ran 14 engineers + 3 PMs across SF, NYC, Dublin.
•Rewrote enterprise pricing; top 5 accounts renewed at 1.4×.
BEFOREAFTER
§ The Roast Card

Designed to be
screenshotted.

Every roast generates a shareable card built for LinkedIn, Twitter, and your group chat. If the roast made you laugh, share it. That’s how this spreads.

ROAST · #4271 · 4M 14S AGOresume.steeped.digital

The verdict on

Senior PM, Stripe (Payments Infra)

“Microsoft Office
is not a skill
in 2026.”

+ 6 missing keywords, 4 banned phrases, and one bullet that just says “managed cross-functional teams.”

SteepedResume. · by Steeped DigitalGET YOURS ROASTED · 3 FREE ↗
MA

Maya A. · 1st

PM @ Series-B fintech · 4h

···

So I ran my resume through this resume.steeped.digital thing and it told me “Microsoft Office is not a skill in 2026” and now I have to go reconsider every choice I’ve made since 2014.

3 free roasts. No signup. Use it before you apply anywhere.

The verdict on a Senior PM resume

“Microsoft Office is not a skill in 2026.”

RESUME.STEEPED.DIGITAL · ROAST #4271

♥ 247 · 84 reactions62 comments · 38 reposts
↗ LAST 24 HOURS

0

roasts run

0

shared on LinkedIn

§ The Return Loop

Re-roast it.
See the diff.

Fix your resume, paste it back, and watch the verdict change line by line. The diff view is the kind of feedback loop ChatGPT can’t replicate, because ChatGPT doesn’t remember your first draft.

MATCH SCORE 34 → 81 · +47 PTS
v2 · AFTER REWRITE81/100
+Shipped Treasury (BaaS); $40M ARR Y1, 9 months R&D to GA, 14 hires across 3 offices.
+Re-architected payments API surface for 6 teams; p99 latency −38%, $1.2M/yr infra saved.
+Rewrote enterprise pricing for top 5 customers; all 5 renewed at 1.4× the prior contract.
+Owned API design RFC process; shipped 11 major surfaces in 2 years with zero P0s post-GA.
+Skills: API design, payments infrastructure, treasury products, Workday/Greenhouse, SQL, Figma.

Re-roasts, diff view, and saved history are included with Career Mode ($29/mo).

See pricing →
§ The Follow-up

And then,
two minutes later,
this lands
in your inbox.

An optional, opt-in email report with the verdict, the three sharpest critiques, and one rewrite sample for the bullet that was the worst. No drip campaign. No “checking in just to see…” Just one email, two minutes after you close the tab.

  • Sent only if you ask
  • One-click unsubscribe
  • Includes a shareable, public roast URL
  • Built with React Email + Resend
Inbox · 1 new · 2 min ago
R.

SteepedResume <roast@resume.steeped.digital>

to you · 2 min after your roast

STARRED

Your roast verdict: 34/100. Here’s why.

Hi there. Your resume was just roasted. Here’s the verdict, the three things to fix first, and one bullet rewritten as an example. No fluff.

VERDICT34/100

“Microsoft Office is not a skill in 2026.”

TOP 3 GAPS TO FIX
  1. No metrics in 4 of 5 bullets. Recruiters skip you.
  2. JD calls for “banking-as-a-service.” Your resume doesn’t say it.
  3. 4 banned AI-words in the summary alone.
ONE BULLET, REWRITTEN

Managed cross-functional teams to deliver products.
↵ Shipped Treasury (BaaS); $40M ARR Y1, 9 months RFC→GA, across 6 teams.

See all 11 gaps + unlock every tool · $29/mo →

You’re getting this once because you opted in. One-click unsubscribe. For real.

§ Pricing

Simple pricing.
No surprises.

3 free roasts to see what’s broken. $5 for a complete Kit when you’re ready to apply. $29/mo if you’re applying to more than one.

The Roast

$03 free, no card needed

Paste your resume, get told what’s wrong. Three readers (recruiter, hiring manager, ATS bot) roast it in 30 seconds. Specific, sharp, and free.

  • 🔥 3 free roasts
  • ✓ Recruiter, hiring manager, and ATS perspectives
  • ✓ Concrete fix suggestions
  • ✓ No signup, no email, no card
Start your free roast★ MOST PICKED

The Kit

$5one application, fully armed

Everything you need for one job application. Paste your resume and the job description. Get six outputs back.

  • ✓ Roast scored against the job
  • ✓ Full resume rewrite, tailored to the JD
  • ✓ Cover letter
  • ✓ ATS keyword check
  • ✓ 5 likely interview questions
  • ✓ Follow-up email template
Get the Kit – $5

Career Mode

$29per month, cancel anytime

10 Kits per month. That’s $50 worth of applications for $29. For active job seekers who are applying to more than one role.

  • ✓ 10 Kits per month (save 42%)
  • ✓ Version history with diff view
  • ✓ Email reports after each Kit
  • ✓ All future tools included
  • ✓ Cancel in one click
Start Career Mode

Teal: $29/mo    Jobscan: $50/mo    Ours: $5 per application or $29/mo. Six outputs, one job.

Your data is kept while you’re subscribed, or for one year – whichever is sooner. Cancel and it’s gone.

§ Questions

The kind
you’d actually
ask.

No. Your resume text is sent to the AI provider, the result comes back, and nothing is saved. No database, no logs, no record of anything. If you close the tab, the output is gone – so download what you want to keep.

Three ways. (1) Every tool has explicit anti-AI-slop rules at the prompt level – banned words, banned patterns, banned tone. (2) Each tool is specialized: the Rewrite prompt is not the Cover Letter prompt is not the ATS Check prompt. (3) You get two outputs to pick from, not one to argue with.

No. Free roasts and the $5 Kit require nothing – pay via Stripe and go. For Career Mode ($29/mo), Stripe needs your email to manage the subscription. Your data is kept while you’re subscribed (max 1 year) and deleted when you cancel.

Roast: 30 seconds. Rewrite: 60-90 seconds. Cover Letter: 60 seconds. ATS Check: instant. Build: about 10 minutes (you answer questions). End-to-end pipeline (Roast → Rewrite → Cover → ATS): under 15 minutes.

Right now, the output is plain text – designed to paste into your existing resume template or a tool like Google Docs. We’re shipping visual templates next; if you want first access, sign up at steeped.digital.

Steeped Digital – a small AI studio based in Toronto, Canada. We build focused AI tools that don’t bury the actually-useful behavior behind a thousand features. SteepedResume is one of them.

§ Who built this

We’re Steeped Digital – a small AI studio that builds focused tools instead of “platforms.” We started with the resume because every other tool we tried wrote the same recycled, buzzword-heavy junk we wouldn’t put our own names on. So we built one with rules.

steeped.digital ↗We also make resume templates on Etsy – if you need formatting to go with the words.
Coming next

Issue 02 is brewing.

New tools, new rules, same philosophy. Drop your email and we’ll let you know when it drops. No spam. Just the update.

No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

★ – – – –  Right. Enough reading.  – – – – ★

Paste your resume.
Get told
what’s wrong.

No signup. No email. No card. Just paste, click, read.